Last night in ceremony to honor the Autumnal Equinox we were invited to let go of something that was possibly in the way of fulling acknowledging or stepping into the next stage of our life, our full power, and, in the right time, the Queen within.
When I prayed for guidance on what to release only one item came to me. Over and over again. "The tan and black shirt you were wearing when you got the call about Jhonny." (my husband who passed away last year)
I waited for something else to come through. Nothing.
I had worn that shirt only a couple times since, both at Qoya retreats. Both times I wore it intentionally to help me go deeper into my feelings.
"But it's a cute shirt," I resisted.
There was no further explanation given. No need for one. I knew it was time. I knew this was the item that represented what I was ready to release.
When the time came to have our last moments with our item and all it represents I became clear. I am ready to release the shock. I spent much of the last year+ in shock and disbelief.
I am ready to move past that. One may call this the acceptance stage of the 5 stages of grief but my view on healing is not that linear. I don't subscribe to just the 5 stages. Nor do I subscribe to the idea that there is a final stage. What I do believe is that there comes a time to release certain things we have been holding on to.
I am grateful to the Burning Woman ceremony last night on the river, under the stars with 25 women, drumming, singing, and chanting, with two men as guardian divine masculine representatives. Honor, reverence, and holy release. Expanding into fuller expressions of ourselves.