Happy International Women's Day!!
This is a day about truly honoring women. And to truly honor women we must look to create true and honest balance between the sexes. So I guess this makes this a feminist holiday. This does not make this a day about women who seek to overpower men. But rather in celebrating women we intend to empower the feminine so it can be back in balance with masculine. This is not to say that the words woman and feminine are synonymous. Nor are man and masculine synonymous. Regardless of our gender, our healthy expression has some blend of both. However, as a general picture, women tend to hold a higher capacity for a fuller expression of the divine and perfect feminine. And men tend to hold a higher capacity for a fuller expression of the divine and perfect masculine. The divine feminine/masculine simply represent the full spectrum of true masculine and feminine as it is designed to be. The desire to seek balance between the two should not be a difficult concept to understand.
We seek balance in so many other ways of life. We wants balanced diets. We practice exercise to create balance between strength and flexibility. We work on our physical balance to help carry our bodies gracefully into older age. We strive for a healthy balance in our relationship between work and play; work and family. Even when we carry shopping bags we distribute the bags between both sides for balanced weight. Our natural desire is to have balance. And there are countless systems to help us achieve that, which is great as we have a tendency to get out of balance from time to time. So why can it be so hard to see the necessity for balance between man and woman? Masculine and feminine? I think because it is automatically assumed that what is sought is sameness. But the reality is that masculine and feminine are different. They are in essence opposites. With this understanding sameness is not very realistic. So a more specific word that feminists use is equality. Feminists seek equality between the genders. But to be even more specific what we truly seek is to be equally valued. To know that our qualities, our gifts, our needs, our services, our well-being, etc, are given equal value to that of our male counterparts. Meaning they are seen as equally necessary.
I believe that everyone was born with a Divine Spark and Inner Guide. I believe that we all have access to this Inner Guide. I believe that we all deserve to have a beautiful life and our Guide or our God wants us to have a beautiful life. by following our Inner Guide (God) we can do this. My belief does not promise that it won't be difficult or painful at times. My belief promises that through this Divine Spark and by following our Inner Guide we can relieve much of our struggle to fit in, our struggles to try to be something that we are not, and our struggle to make sense of life's confusions. My belief is that we can relieve most of our suffering through surrender and live with a deep trust and knowing that everything is ultimately going to be okay. When this struggle goes away and when the suffering quiets down, this is when our gifts and qualities have space to present themselves in our lives. This is when we get to know ourselves more deeply and fully.
People ask, "What is the purpose of life?"
And I say, "The purpose to life is to be fully, wholly, and authentically You. No exceptions, no apologies, no masks, no catering to make others comfortable, no confusion. It can take a lifetime to discover who and what you truly are. It can take multiple lifetimes. There are thousands of messages and people trying to answer this question for you. And nobody can answer it for you. They can support you. They can hold up a mirror for you. You can even hold hands for a little while as each of you walks your own path. But there must be a point where you let go of the other's grasp. There must be a time when you clear everyone else out of your view and see clearly. To be fully and wholly who You are, it has to be done by you."
"Then what about love?"
When I write something new I like it to be handwritten first. My thoughts feel more authentic to me when they are expressed by handwriting. Less censored, filtered, pre-planned. Something about that computer screen makes me feel like I am on a stage of some sort and I get stage fright. The screen and those keys are a portal to the World Wide Web. Anything that I type and publish via my blog or social media will live forever whether I want them to or not. That is a lot of pressure. And consciously or not, the pressure alters what I say and how I say it. Unlike the immortality of the world wide web, I decide the fate of the words I write on a paper page. These words are handmade and there is more time for me to be with my hand made creation before I decide if I am going share it. If I wish for these words to cease to exist, I can destroy them with a single match. When my words are first expressed by handwriting they are all mine and I experience them intimately. I feel the paper pages, I smell the subtle scent of ink, and I feel the indents from each letter. As I write sometimes I develop a small cramp in my hand thus making me become more invested in what I am creating.
Every day I will write, even just a little but to see what flows out. May the writing be some sort of reflection of my journey and a link to the collective. Some days my writing will be worth sharing. Most days it probably will not. Should I share it anyways? What if I blogged every day? Would this help me give the stirrings of my heart and soul a place to live and breathe in the world? I often feel like the majority of my depth is boarded up within the walls of my skin. This was not always the case. But somewhere along my journey inward I began to restrict the channel that goes outward. It's not totally closed, but the flow has some debris in the way. This realization is novel because I just realized that I was unaware of the walls I had allowed to go up and the debris I allowed to collect. And now I see that perhaps the walls just went up so that I could learn to take them back down. To allow a natural flow of energy is extremely healing and beneficial. But to understand how to guide the flow and set up boundaries when necessary is even more beneficial.
This life is a practice. And time after time I am reminded of how perfect everything really is. There is so much I want to see, to learn, to feel, to do. But today, I will just start with writing.
I don't know about you, but Fall has utterly stolen my heart and is caressing it with her cool breezes, colorful leaves, sweaters, and earthy fragrance. Every Spring I say to myself "this is my favorite season!" And then every Fall I retract and say, "no THIS is my favorite season!" To be honest, I do not think there is a winner to this contest besides those of us that get to enjoy the gifts. And along with Autumn's sensual gifts such as the colors, the temperature, and the smells, isn't the "change" part pretty enticing too? But wait! As humans don't we often resist change? We stick with the known comforts over the unknown adventure/risks. We order the same dish at our favorite restaurant over and over. We wear the same hairstyle for a little longer than excites us because we know how to manage it. We maintain relationships that may not be very fulfilling or satisfying anymore. There are a million ways that we resist change and resist our own growth because maybe we don't want to go into the unknown or we don't want to be uncomfortable. But our love of Spring and Fall reveals that we have a deep desire for change and shaking things up- the stripping down and dying off that Autumn represents, and the growth and blooming that Spring represents. We crave it! So this season, embrace change!
Qoya is the simplest and most effective way for me to feel connected to my divinity. It is one of only a few things that make me feel truly plugged in. If I am not feeling particularly connected or grounded there is a long list of things that I can tap into to bring me back to my true essence and self. But there are only a few things that pull me back into the sacred heart of my divinity and these things are guaranteed to work every time. They include 1. Lovemaking and the moments after orgasm 2. Skydiving and the moment right after the parachute opens 3. Jumping into cold water 4. Qoya. All the other techniques such as meditating, eating a yummy meal, painting, practicing yoga, taking a bath, lighting incense (and more) do make me feel good every time. But when it comes to making me feel completely attuned to my inner goddess they are not full proof and often work only in the right circumstances or while coupled with another technique. Where as my four guaranteed techniques work every single time. And out of those four techniques Qoya is the only one that is available 100% of the time. Qoya is based on that idea that through movement we remember. This movement is not just any mindless movement, but intentional movement. Movement with purpose. Movement with meaning. Inspired movement. It could be as simple as ankle circles while sitting through a meeting or letting the music move you in an elevator. And through this intentional, purposeful, inspired movement we remember our true essence of being wise, wild and free. We remember our true divine selves. We remember that we are Love. And if God is Love then that must make us God.
There are times in this life where we see a direction we want to go. This desire feels good and pure. The kind of good and pure that tells you it is the True, authentic desire of your Soul and Higher Self. You can visualize and even enact some steps in this direction, but repeatedly you are drawn back to your same old pattern, that same old direction. Even so, you keep this vision and knowledge of where you want to go. In fact, you can't really help but keep the vision because the desire is so innate that it is more you than even your current understanding is you.
By keeping this vision and praying for your embodiment of it, you keep it close to manifestation. And if you are lucky, the elements in your life and the Universe will conspire to push you again and again in the desired direction. Even when you choose to fall into the old pattern and when you are convinced that you are doing good by your True Self and Soul, you are lucky if this path is interrupted. Perhaps your ability to perform the same old task is taken from you: you injure your leg, you lose your voice, you damage your instruments or tools. Temporarily you are paralyzed from any action, be it the same old pattern or the True desired path. Do not despair. This is just to drive home, embed within you, the lesson that you not only want, but you need to take this new path. And the sooner you take the leap of faith, change the direction of your sails and do as you truly wish, the better for you and the better for All That Is.
Today I honor the full moon and the rhythms of my own body and womanhood. To be so in sync with the environment that nurtures us is truly a gift. As each attempt to create is a failure, I am reminded that now is not a time of creation but for shedding and releasing. The opportunity for creation, growth, and vibrance will come in due time. I love and honor this sacred process, the natural and beautiful flow.
And no, it is not because of the Pumpkin Spice Lattes...
This is a re-post from my old blog website. Original post was September 30, 2011. The topic is still relevant. Please enjoy this re-run:
“What I thought was ‘the tree starts to fall,’
and I see it never was the tree all.”
The leaves get all the glory.
They begin as blossoms of varying shades of pink, purple and white.
They grow and transform to vibrant greens and sometimes reds and purples.
Then even in their dying they steal the show. Reds, yellows, oranges fill those heavy wooden arms before they gracefully fall to the ground.
But I am enamored by the trunk. The strong wooden branches. This is the element that stays true through the harsh, cold winter months.
While it is only a loose comparison, the analogy of the tree is an opening. Aren't we like the tree? The tree creates the leaves, but the leaves are not the tree.
I posted a quote on Facebook yesterday from C.S. Lewis:
"You don't have a soul.
You are a soul.
You have a body."