When the clock struck midnight it was like walking through a portal to another dimension.
I had spent the evening at home with friends. We drank cacao, played music, sang, ate nourishing food, and shared our gratitudes of 2016 and our intentions for 2017 over the fire and ceremonial tobacco. We picked oracles cards and played more music. After a few hours of enjoying the company of one another we hugged good bye, wished one another a Happy New Year and everyone had cleared out by 10:30pm.
Sleepy but the year was not yet finished. I drew an epsom salt, bubble bath and slid into the water for a late night soak lit by candles. My dogs snuggled together in my bathrobe on the floor next to the tub. I enjoyed the soothing and comforting heat of the water on my tender body. So much integration energetically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally... my sweet body is trying to catch up. The bath helped and I got out of the tub feeling refreshed and clear. Snuggling with my dogs on the couch it was still only 11:45pm.
"How do I want to enter 2017?" I asked.
Snuggling with my dogs?
Laying in bed?
Scrolling through social media?
Just going about my business and letting it pass without thought?
"What tone do I want to set for my year?"
My deepest Soul truth and embodiment.
That’s when the night sky began to call me.
At 11:55pm for warmth I put Jhonny's bathrobe over the one I had on, I slid my feet into slippers, set my phone alarm clock to play my favorite piece by Rainer Scheurenbrand at midnight. I turned off the light in my backyard and I walked outside.
Neighbors were celebrating. I heard voices, laughter, music. But I felt the peace of my own home and yard. I looked at the sky then the ground called me down. Laying on the cement I look up to the dark, dark night. Beyond the street lights and home lights of my neighbors, I looked above them to see the stars. Lying there I felt the cool air on my skin, the cold cement supporting my back, and the soft breeze in my hair.
I felt the wholeness of emotions and the anticipation of what the New Year would bring. I felt the excitement of plans already in motion, the gratitude for the love in my life, and the utter sadness for what I have lost and parts of myself I have had to leave behind. In the throws of it all I felt a surge of pure gratitude wash over me just as the alarm sounded. “Yemanja” played for me as cheers from the neighbors house and fireworks from all over town rang through the air. Feeling my aloneness. Yet feeling my deep cosmic, spiritual connection with every person, every sound I heard, and every sensation I felt.
To hold and see and feel it all. Maybe this is the point.
Maybe this is what we are all striving towards.
I lay there for a few moments then rose to my feet. I allowed the music to move me and I danced, under the stars, in two bathrobes and slippers, amongst the explosion of fireworks and barking dogs. I felt my whole body soften, spirit animated my movement. As the song drew to a close I felt my pace naturally slow down as well. Walking to the house I paused on my back step. I looked up to the sky again, hands on my heart, feeling the purity of the moment and soaking it up with every cell of my body. This is what this year will bring. I'm not sure what it will look like, what I will do, what I will learn, where I will go, who I will meet, but this is what it will feel like. This is the feeling 2017 will bring.
I turned around to walk in the house and as I closed the door I knew I was entering a new dimension, a new world, a new year, a renewed life.